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:: CATWOMAN ::
:: TREASURED MEMORIES ::
.June 2005.
.July 2005.
.August 2005.
.September 2005.
.October 2005.
.November 2005.
.December 2005.
.January 2006.
.February 2006.
.March 2006.
.April 2006.
.May 2006.
.June 2006.
6 months ago... at 2pm... i met Ansari for a movie.
Yes. We watched A Lot Like Love. The 2:20pm show at GV TM. And after that... things juz took off from there. Things juz fell into place. There wasnt any moment of awkwardness. I juz felt so comfortable wif him.
I felt so comfortable that i wasnt expecting anything u noe. When it was time for us to end our day, i thought that was it. I had such an enjoyable time and so did Ansari. And sooo... at around 7pm when he asked me to be his gf... i was surprised. But yet not so surprised.
I was surprised cos i thought it was too fast. As in it was our 1st date and he already asked. Yet i wasnt surprised cos i could sense that he liked me too and in my head, him asking me to be his gf was bound to happen.
But i guess i wasnt expecting him to ask on our 1st date...
I ever asked him... if Shaikhah's note made a difference. He said it helped a bit. Cos me agreeing to go out wif him... us becoming so close in such a short time... was enough to make him aware of how both of us felt for each other. Shaikhah's note further proved that and gave him the confidence.
(Thank u so much Shaikhah. I love u very the strong)
So 6 months down the road...
Here i am... Here we are... still strong...
No doubt there were the occasional moments when he made me so so very mad. Only very closed ones noe wat happened lately.
I love Ansari and i noe he loves me too.
I've been through so much for the past 2 years. When i first got to noe Ansari, i wasnt counting on anything. I knew he liked me and i liked him too but i didnt want to be disappointed. I was actuali in fact scared... scared to like someone all over again.
U wana noe smth??
12th April 2005... the first time ever i met Ansari. From the moment i saw him... the moment we shook hands... the moment i looked into his eyes... the way he joked around wif Toonie and Lulu... that one split second when our eyes met and i had to quickly look away cos i felt smth deep inside of me... from that moment on... i liked him. Just like that.
And as i got to noe him more after that, i reali grew to like him u noe. I guess only those closest to me knew how i reali reali felt. It wasnt a simple crush. Neither was it an intense sort of feeling. It was a feeling that grew... and grew inside of me.
Ansari isnt the most good-looking guy i've ever laid my eyes on. Ansari isnt the hottest guy around. Ansari isnt the most charming guy. He's juz like that...
Selenge. Irritating. Funny. Sweet. Generous. Romantic (ok Lulu and Nora can go ahead and laugh). And even though we are in a relationship... he still flirts around in his smses wif me (ok Lulu and Nora will find it hard to imagine).
But he reali captured my heart the moment i got to noe him...
I wasnt counting on getting into a relationship this year. At all. Enough was enough. My heart was left broken into pieces and i needed time to mend my broken heart. I juz felt so tired and disappointed but yet at the same time an unexplainable feeling grew inside of me the moment i met Ansari.
Shaikhah always say that i think and make decisions using my head. Unlike her. She uses her heart more often. I agree but on 29th June 2005... i agreed to be Ansari's gf cos my heart told me to...
(see Shaikhah... it's not bad to let ur heart rule over ur head at times...)
I followed my heart despite my head telling me not to...
"No Az. U cant say Yes to him now. U noe u are not ready for another relationship. U noe he's going for NS. Can u deal with that?? Missing him a lot. Wat if smth goes wrong btwn the 2 of u?? Ure gona implicate Lulu and Toonie. Can u deal wif another heartbreak shld the 2 of u not able to work things out while he's in NS??"
I let my heart rule over my head at that time cos...
I felt Ansari's sincerity. He dared to look at me in the eye when he asked. He gave me the assurance i needed. I only had to ask him 1 question and his answer was enough to make me say yes.
My heart told me that it wld be unfair if i didnt give Ansari and me a chance.
U noe... even if Ansari hadnt asked me to be his gf... even though he's in NS right now and we keep in touch constantly as frenz... i wldnt have wanted to be wif anybody else. I wld have waited till he's done wif NS.
I guess i reali fell for him the moment i met him...
Love... sometimes may come to an end. When it ends, the only thing that remains... are those wonderful memories.
Falling out of love... it reali hurts. For some ppl... it's as if the world has ended. Life just comes to a stop. U juz stop living...
I've been through all that but never did i lose hope. I kept telling myself that things will just fall into place. Someday.
Love btwn 2 ppl can come to an end. Just like that. I noe some of u will say that it wun be called Love if it ends juz like that. I beg to differ. It is Love. Only for a short time.
Only True Love lasts...
I do not noe how far me and Ansari will go. Up till now im still too scared to harbour too much hope. I noe sometimes i do think of the future and it has Ansari in it but deep down inside... im still afraid. Very very afraid.
Not to say i do not have faith in Ansari. It's juz that anything can happen. One of us can leave the other for another person. Our Love for each other might die. Or one of us might leave the other for good shld anything bad happen.
Tears are rolling down my cheeks right now cos i nearly lost Ansari recently.
It's hard missing him. It makes it even harder for me each time he smses from camp telling me he misses me. It's juz hard for the 2 of us.
I can only hope for the best and i hope...
It's True Love that me and Ansari are feeling for each other...
