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:: CATWOMAN ::
:: TREASURED MEMORIES ::
.June 2005.
.July 2005.
.August 2005.
.September 2005.
.October 2005.
.November 2005.
.December 2005.
.January 2006.
.February 2006.
.March 2006.
.April 2006.
.May 2006.
.June 2006.
My biggest fear is...
Not YOU cheating on me for another girl...
Not YOU leaving me because you're not ready for a serious commitment...
Not YOU leaving me because of opposition from my parents...
My biggest fear is...
Of YOU leaving me because YOU THINK YOU aren't good enough for me...
Of YOU leaving me because YOU THINK YOU have failed as a boyfriend...
Of YOU leaving me because YOU THINK YOU have lost all feelings for me...
It's not for YOU to decide whether or not YOU are good for me. The decision lies with me because only I know deep within me whether YOU are worthy of me or not.
It's not for YOU to decide whether or not YOU have failed as a boyfriend because without failure, there is no success. Failures in life only serve to make one into a stronger person.
Remember when YOU asked me if YOU were to propose to me now, would I be willing to be your wife?
From the moment my parents found out about US and I cried so hard fearing that I would lose YOU, fearing that NS would only serve to tear US apart and fearing that YOU would never be a part of my future, from that moment on, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with YOU.
I didn't say it then because I wanted to keep that sacred feeling deep within me. At least if things do not turn out the way I want to, I only had MYSELF to blame for harbouring hopes. For building castles in the air.
Remember when we were in the train last week and YOU hugged me so tight and said to me that nobody else could take me away from YOU?
Let me assure you that no one will ever take me away from YOU because all I want is YOU. There is no one else in I want to be with except for YOU.
Remember when YOU told me while we were lying down on the breakwaters of Pasir Ris Beach that YOU wish the both of us do not have to return back to our homes so that YOU can have me to YOURSELF?
That day WILL come if WE continue to remain strong.
Remember when YOU told me 2 weeks ago that YOU are afraid YOU aren't able to give me a good life?
It does not matter how much YOU earn, what kind of house WE live in, what kind of car YOU drive, what kind of lives WE lead because as long as YOU are willing to be there with me, every step of the way, likewise I'm willing to stick by YOU through thick and thin.
Remember when YOU told me about 3 months back that YOU wanted US to go our separate ways?
I tried all means and ways to get YOU to think things over not because I was desperate, not because I did not want to go through a break-up but because I did not want YOU to make the biggest mistake of YOUR life and live to regret it.
Remember when I asked YOU if I had agreed to a separation, would YOU have asked me back?
YOU said YOU would because YOU knew it was YOUR mistake.
I admit, I seldom say "I Love YOU" to you. Simply because I feel that no amount of words can express the amount of Love I have for YOU. No amount of words can be put to together to sum up all of my feelings for YOU.
That is why, I prefer to be with YOU, to be beside YOU and SHOW YOU how I feel for YOU.
Anyone can say "I Love YOU" to others. I can say "I Love YOU" to Shah Rukh Khan but does that exactly explain how I feel for him? It's just a term of endearment I have for an idol.
I can say "I LOVE You" to all of The Kukuz but what does that mean? It means I Love them for being the sisters I never had. For accepting me for who I am.
With YOU, it's different, the reason being that YOU give me this unexplained feeling of warmth, joy, smiles, laughter and bliss. Being with YOU just takes me away from all my troubles.
When I'm with YOU, all other things take a backseat. When I'm with YOU, I try to make full use of every minute, every second and every nano-second. I treasure our train rides home even if it's only for 45 minutes because that's the ONLY time I get to communicate with YOU.
To YOU, it might be a waste of time seeing me for less than an hour but to me, it's good quality time spent with YOU.
Never say goodbye when YOU still want to try.
Never give up when YOU still feel YOU can take it.
Never say YOU no longer LOVE a person when YOU can't let go.
Can YOU tell the rain to stop falling?
YOU can't because the clouds exist...
Can YOU tell the birds to stop singing?
YOU can't because it's in their nature to do so...
Can YOU tell the moon to stop shining?
YOU can't because the sun exists to provide it with light...
Can YOU tell the Earth to stop spinning?
YOU can't because if that happens, all life on Earth will be wiped out...
Likewise, don't ever try to stop me from making sacrifices for YOU. For YOU, I'm willing to go the extra mile. For YOU, I'm willing to go against all odds. For YOU, I'm willing to prove to my parents that what WE have now is very special.
Don't ever try to stop me from Loving YOU because I will Love YOU until it kills me. As long as there is time, as long as there is Love, as long as there is YOU, as long as I have a breath to speak YOUR name, I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU.
Who knows what tomorrow may bring. I might not live to see tomorrow so I'm trying to seize every opportunity I can to be with YOU. However, since YOU do not feel likewise, I hope this entry is able to explain to you why I've been doing what I did.
Please note that while YOU are gone, there is someone here who is waiting for YOU. Someone who will forever be counting down the days till YOU touch down in Singapore safely. Someone who has pledged herself to stay so true and so loyal to YOU because YOU are irreplaceable in her heart.
And that SOMEONE is ME...
"LOVE is a short word, easy to spell, difficult to define, impossible to live without. Love doesn't make the world go around, it's what makes the ride worthwhile. YOU can look all over for Love but YOU won't be able to find it. YOU can't see Love, YOU must feel it. LOVE is afterall only a word, until YOU meet someone who gives it a meaning. Someone who shows YOU what Love is..."
And for me, that SOMEONE is YOU...
