[*LOVE is a short word, easy to spell, difficult to define, impossible to live without*]...[*LOVE doesn't make the world go around*]...[*It's what makes the ride worthwhile*]...[*You can look all over for LOVE but you won't be able to find it*]...[*You can't see LOVE, you must feel it*]...[*LOVE is afterall only a word*]...[*Until you meet SOMEONE who gives it a meaning*]...[*SOMEONE who shows you what LOVE is*]...[*I've met that SOMEONE*].......................

Friday, March 17, 2006

"My parents are holding hands while watching tv. Jealous. Jealous. Jealous. Jealous giler. I wana hold ur hand too. Wekk." - that was my sms to him slightly after 9pm.

An hour later...

"Alaaah. U nak hold my hands pun tak blh. Kan dis wk we cant meet..." - his reply...

"An... I call u k?"
"Tak blh. I need to kemas my things and tido..."
"Alaaah... OK fine. Go kemas. Kemas all u want. Let me cry all by myself..."
"Merajuk la tu..."
"Yes. Merajuk. I miss u and it sux that dis wk we cant meet. Nvm. I'll do the crying myself..."
"Ok lah call. We can talk till 1030..."

Sepantas kilat (or is it secepat kilat?), i abandoned my laptop, leapt forward from my bed onto the floor and reached for the house phone in my room and hit the redial button. If you are wondering why his number was on redial mode, i will explain towards the end of the post.

"Hello..."
"An!!!!!!"
"Hahaha... Hello... U kat maner?"
"In my room lah..."
"Ur mom dlm bilik dgn u?"
"Tak lah... Kat luar tgh tgk tv dengan Ayah..."
"Abih u tak tgk tv wif them?"
"Tak nak lah..."
"Jealous eh?"
"Eh mesti lah..."
"Haha... Tadi skola?"
"Yesss..."
"Dah baik belom? Masih ade fever?"
"Sikit je la..."
"Dis wk u mkn tak?"
"Ade... tapi tak bnyk lah..."
"Alaah jgn lah gitu... Nanti kurus lagi..."
"Bluek..."
"Eh ape bluek?"
"An... i've been calling u all day..."
"Huh?"
"Tadi lepas balik skola, i kept calling u on ur hp... Altho i knew it wld be off, i kept calling anyway..."
"Sori... i baru je on my hp..."
"I noe... U only on ur hp around dis time but i cldnt help myself..."
"Ok..."
"I miss u tau..."
"And u nangis lagi?"
"Haha... Yesss dari semlm i nangis..."
"Alaaah jgn lah nangis..."

Then i heard some shoutings in the background and then i heard this:

"Shut up lah..."
(some shoutings)
"I'm not talking to my mother lah!!"

Hahaha. Gaaawd. Kaklar gilerrr. His bunkmates were teasing him. They thought he was on the phone with his mom. Gosh. Simply because he was talking on the phone, with his head under the blanket. Issshhh. According to him, it was noisy so if he didnt put his head under the blanket, he wouldnt be able to have a decent conversation with me.

"An... gambar ape u letak kat ur cupboard?"
"Gambar the 2 of us kat beach..."
"Sempat eh u tukar. Semlm gambar i kat stadium... Kenape tak letak the pimp picture?"
"Tak nak lah..."
"Letak lah then ur bunkmates can see... Dah tu they can sibuk2 berkenalan..."
"Haha... Most of them are attached..."
"Ohh... okie..."
"Az... my peanut biscuits dah bis..."
"Eh cepatnyeee..."
"Sebab once someone sees, yg lain pun sibuk2... semlm dah bis..."
"Haha... takpe. Blh beli lagi..."
"Someone brought in a big box of Hello Panda biscuits..."
"Oooohhh bessst!!"
"Ade flavour baru..."
"Ehhh??"
"Yesss. My fren ckp dia beli kat Watson's..."
"Kalau Watson's ade then mesti kat Mustafa pun ade..."
"Oh ya... i nak beli those brown pants..."
"Brown pants???"
"Yg that time i saw dgn u... those corduroy ones..."
"Ohhh... alaaah u asyik beli brown je..."
"Lawa pe..."
"Brown colour taik..."
"Lawa laaah..."
"K laaah. Ur money pe. U can buy watever u want..."
"Watever i want?"
"Yesss. Ur money. U spend it..."
"I can buy watever i want?"
"Yesssss..."
"Ok then... kalau i nak beli u blh?"
(me blushing)
"Az... blh tak?"
"Hahaha. Blh!! Tapi mahal tau..."
"Mahal? Brape? Satu dollar?"
"Oiii!!"
"OK... Ten dollars..."
"Ehhh maner blh!! I nak 5 zeroes next to the 1..."
"Lima zeroes??!!!"
"Yes!" (confidently)
"Maner blh..."
"Blh la... U start saving..."
"I tak mampu lah..."
"Eleeeh..."
"Ok blh tapi kene letak dot next to the 1st zero..."
"Nooooo!! Comma blh. Dot tak blh..."
"Blh... Letak dot k?"
"Ehhh tak nak lah. Dah bagos tu i tak mintak $15, 000..."
"Az... 5 zeroes is $100, 000..."
"Ooopppsss!! I meant $10, 000. Heh. Ok 4 zeroes..."
"Hahaha... Tak semakin tua, harga pasaran semakin turun..."
"Nooo. Merepek. Semakin naik..."
"Why not make it $8, 000 and the other $2, 000 kita buat gi..."
"Honeymoon!!"
"Eh pandai..."
"Hahaha. Mesti lah. Eh tak nak. $10, 000 k?"
"K lah. $10, 000"
"An... Abg tanye bile u gi Taiwan..."
"April... End of April, early May..."
"That's like so near..."
"Yesss... Dis Sat i kene buy things to bring to Taiwan..."
"Nak ikut!!"
"U kate dis wk tak blh meet? Kan u ade wedding on Sat..."
"Alaaah the wedding ends at 12..."
"12 mlm kann?"
"Nooooo!! 12 noon laaah. It's an Indian wedding..."
"Ohhh i ingat it ends at 12 midnite..."
"No laaah..."
"Abg ckp u gi Taiwan, kene bawak bnyk duit tau..."
"Yes Firas pun ckp..."
"Yesss. Ade bnyk barang to buy. Abg sneaked out tau from his hotel mlm2 to shop..."
"Berani eh dia..."
"Alah u mcm tak tahu Abg je..."
"Ok so u nak ape from Taiwan?"
"Hmmm... i nak many-many things..."
"Many-many?"
"Yes many-many skali..."
"Ok many-many ape?"
"Jacket, sneakers, new school bag..."
"Eh i memang nak belikan u jacket so u can pakai in class... jadi tak sejuk..."
"K then u belikan lah i school bag baru dgn sneakers..."
"Lagi?"
"Lagi ape eh??"
"U make a list then give me..."
"Haha... Ingat tau i nak many-many things..."
"Coli tak nak??"
"Ehhh ke situ pulak dia..."
"I belikan u in bright colours..."
"Eeeee!!"
"Yg bnyk patterns..."
"EEEEE!!!!"
"Haha... Lawa pe..."
"NO!! Eleh do u even noe my size?"
"I tahu laaah..."
"Eh pls..."
"U pernah bilang i pe... Tapi actuali kan i dah forget..."
"See. U tak ingat. Cemane nak belikan i?"
"Alaaah nanti i tgk, i tahu lah..."
"Ehhh tak payah la..."
"Betol tak nak?"
"Tak nak laaah. Anywaaaayyyysss... i bought a white bikini..."
"U whaaat??!"
"I bought a white bikini... Heh..."
"Bile? Az... kan u ckp u nak save. Kenape u spend?" (like he has started saving already)
"Alaaah i cldnt help it. It was juz sooo nice..."
"Yelah tapi kan ure not supposed to spend..."
"Alaaah. It was so lawa lah..."
"Brape u beli bikini tu?"
"Ummm... that u dun hv to noe..."
"Az..."
"Alaaah i reali HAD to get it..."
"So... hv u tried it on?" (his voice went dangerously low and i love it each time he does that!)
"Hehe. Daaaah..."
"Mesti lawa kannn?"
"Yesss" (giggles)
"So when will i get to see u in it?"
"Eh... tunggu lah lama-lama?"
"Alamak... Lama-lama?"
"Yesss"
"K u amik gambar... then i can letak ur pic kat bunk..."
"Gambar i in bikini??!! Tak nak lah..."
"Blh la..."
"Nooo... Nanti semua org tgk!"
"Eh takpe la. Biar semua tgk gf i... Bukak cupboard je: Waaahhh!! An... ur gf ah??"
"Malu lah... Tak nak... So tak senonoh..."
"Eleh..."
"An... u cant speak Mandarin. Cemane nak survive kat Taiwan? Nanti mcm Firas..."
"Hahaha... I tahu k..."
"U tahu ape? Cume ckp Wo Bu Zhi Dao"
"Eh tahu lah tu..."
"Eleh... Nanti u nak converse dgn army dorang cemane? Hand signals pun tak gune..."
"Takpe. I take Mandarin classes..."
"Yelaaah tu. Bileee?"
"Eh Toonie ade pe..."
"Toonie kan bz... She wun layan u..."
"Toonie baik. Dia slalu layan i..."
"I bilang Toonie jgn layan u..."
"Taaak. Toonie slalu dgr ckp i..."
"Ehhh taaak. Now she listens to ME..."
"Jahat..."
"Eleh... ur gf ni faham Mandarin u tak nak suruh..."
"Dari dulu u ckp nak ajar i tapi tak ajar pun..."
"K lah... I ajar u k?"
"Haha... ok..."
"Tapi i kene charge u..."
"Ehhh... free tak blh?"
"Maner blh! Ade additional costs..."
"Additional costs ape?" (his voice went dangerously low again)
"Haha... ade lah..."
"Reali?? Tell me..." (that low voice again)
"An..."
"Wat?? Tell me..."
"K lah. I wun charge u any fees but i want smth in return..."
"So wat is that u want?" (that low voice again)
"I naaak..."
"U nak ape? Bilang i..."
"I waaannnt..."
"Bilaaang..."
"Eh tak nak lah..."
"Asal? Over the fone tak best eh??"
"A'ah... Kene bilang in person... Nak see ur reaction..."
"Oh gitu eh... K nanti u whisper in my ears k ape u nak?" (his voice turned whispery)
"Eh no. I nak shout it out loud so that ppl will hear me and u cant back out..."
"Eh jgn lah... Malu i..."
"Muahaha..."
"Eh jgn lah..."
"Eh suke hati i lah..."
"Abih kalau u teach me the wrong things... den u get wat u want and i dun get to learn Mandarin..."

And so that was a snippet of our conversation. Not everything though. It lasted for a good 30 minutes though. I told him to put down the phone despite it not being lights out yet cos i wanted him to sleep early.

It's funny how earlier during the day or rather since last night i was crying my eyes out after receiving the news from a friend. Don't worry. Nobody died. Just that when i heard the story, it suddenly hit me. Hit me real hard. Like multiple stabbings to my heart. Ok i haven't had my heart stabbed but still without having to experience it, one will naturally know how painful it is right?

Upon hearing the story from her, instantaneously i cried. Just like that. I cried myself to sleep. I had to practically drag myself to school just now in spite of the fever and swollen eyes. Then somehow i got paranoid and the moment i reached home from school, i called Ansari.

That explains why his number was on the redial mode. I just kept calling and calling despite knowing that his handphone will not be on. I kept redialling despite knowing that all i get would be his voicemail. I just kept redialling despite knowing it was futile. That i wasnt able to get through him not until at night.

God. I was like a mad woman. For once i seriously though i had lost it. That something in my brain snapped and that i had gone insane. I was certainly scared of myself.

Then i just felt like crying. I came online and prompted Abang. The night before, our chat was cut short halfway as he had to go. He promised he would chat with me again the night after. So i prompted him. I told him i was on the brink of tears but i didnt tell him why. I just wanted him to cheer me up.

And he was being such a schmuck by giving me one word replies. I farking hate people who give one word answers. It's just so unfair you know. When he needed cheering up, i was always there. No matter how busy i was, no matter how exhausted i was, no matter how dump in the dumps i felt, i never ever not layan him.

When i told Abg that i wanted to cry, he told me he was heartbroken. When i asked why, he said he was just kidding. Eh sungguh tak kelakar ok!!

And then Kassim came online and i simply had to prompt him about his display picture. Goodness. If only all of you can see it. It was a picture of him, bare-bodied, with a white flower tucked by his ear!! So kaklar nak mampos lah.

Kassim, u went Bali nvr ajak me. Sampai hati. Kan i blh selit dalam your luggage. I kan cute and slim. Hurhurhur. By the way, your mom rocks laaah!!

And then while i wanted to find out more about his trip to Bali, i was on the phone with Ansari so i couldnt find out much. Kassim had to go off anyway because he was going back to camp.

Kassim prefers going back to camp late at night while Abg prefers to do it early in the morning. Apparently he likes the morning rush while Kassim doesnt. So different lah the 2 of them.

My my. Look at the time. I cant seem to get to sleep. Simply because im anxious about my presentation later on. Gawd. I so hate solo presentations la. So tak best la. So stressful la. I just hope my tutor or the class will not ask me tough questions. To tell you the truth, i didnt finish reading Lost Paradise by Junichi Watanabe.

Hello. The book is super damn thick la. I skipped some parts of the book. Eh i still have other assignments to do other than the presentation ok! So please go easy on me. I hate having to stand in front of a class and have questions directed at me. This is why i so am not cut-out to be a teacher.

And i so do not know what to wear to the wedding on Saturday lah. What do you wear to an Indian wedding?? I do not even have a Punjabi suit. Sheesh. And it's being held at the temple so no indecent clothes. Gaaawwwd. My mom has already decided on what to wear and here i am fretting over what to wear.

And also i cant sleep because the conversation between me and Ansari keeps replaying in my head. Heh. Excuse me people. It's really very the different la having a bf in the army. Not like Police and CD where they get more time off.

"Ok u better tido already..."
"Blom lights off..."
"Takpe... better put down the fone now before i find it hard to say goodbye..." (seriously i cant bear the thought of being in a deep conversation and mid-way thru it, his sergeant ask them to put down the fone abruptly)
"Abih u?"
"I have sch stuff to do... Wun be sleeping early..."
"Jgn tido lambat sangat tau... Nanti my sayang sakit lagi..."
"Tak laaah..." (blushing)
"Nanti demam lagi, abih tak mkn, dah tu sakit perut..."
"Eh tak laaah..."
"Adeee... that time yg u hantar i balik gi camp dah tu u sakit perut and i was so worried sebab u balik sorang..."
"Alaaah sakit sikit je..."
"Still... sakit jugak... And jgn nangis lagi k?"
"K lah. Gi tido lah..."
"Ok ok..."
"Have sweet dreams of me k?"
"Sweet dreams?"
"Yes..."
"Sweet dreams cemane yg u nak?"
"Ehhh suke hati u lah..."
"Hmmm... kalau wet dreams blh?"
"Ehhhh!!"
"Blh tak?"
"Apape lah..."
"Tapi ade 1 bantal je... tak cukup..."
"Asal pulak tak cukup?"
"Sebab tak blh peluk, tak soft enuf..."
"Ummm... okkkaaaayyy..."
"Tak blh ramas-ramas..."
"Ehhhh... daaah... DAH!!"
"Hahaha..."
"Gi tido k?"
"Yes sayang..."
"Nitey nite..."
"K. Love u!"

I dont care if any of you are disgusted by what you just read. My blog. My business.

I have a very very naughty bf...
I LOIKE!!

3/17/2006 04:07:00 AM