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:: CATWOMAN ::
:: TREASURED MEMORIES ::
.June 2005.
.July 2005.
.August 2005.
.September 2005.
.October 2005.
.November 2005.
.December 2005.
.January 2006.
.February 2006.
.March 2006.
.April 2006.
.May 2006.
.June 2006.
I havent been having enough sleep these days. Or perhaps some of u call it proper sleep.
Every nite, after i get back from work, i'll be dead tired. Yaaa. Sometimes i juz head straight to my room, shower and then plonk myself onto my bed. After smsing Ansari good nite, i'll sleep. Sometimes i dun even talk to my parents. Dah la i dun see them much nowadays cos by the time they come back, i wld have left for work. It feels as if all the energy has been zapped out of me.
Sooo usually by 12 i'll be asleep already. Pretty early for someone like me who always sleeps after 2am. So kannn lately... i wld be up a few hrs later and i'll juz lie on my bed, staring at the ceiling. I wld toss and turn. Toss and turn. Sampai all my 8 bantals fall onto the floor. Then i'll pick them up one by one and continue tossing and turning. Then i'll stare at the ceiling again.
Its normal la to toss and turn. Most ppl wld do it for an hour or so and gradually fall back to sleep. But me?? I wld toss and turn all the way till Subuh tau. Yesss. That's like 3 hrs of tossing and turning.
I told Shaikhah about it yday. Her answer was spot-on. She asked if im worried about smth. Cos u see when im excited about smth, i'll wake up at almost every hour to check out the time. However, if i cant get to sleep, it means im worried about smth.
Sometimes it amazes me how Shaikhah is very observant. She noes me better than i do actually. A bit scary.
Shaikhah... ilmu ape u pakai?? Hahaha.
Am i worried about smth?? I guess i am la. Actually i duno cos i cant exactly pin-point to one source that's making me worried. So i guess it's juz an accumulation of things.
What accumulation of things u may wonder... Well a blog is public so i guess i wun mention about them here.
Nowadays when i tell u im tired, it means im reali tired. Like seriously dead tired. Not tired malas tau. And again Miss Shaikhah managed to bring up this point to me. I didnt noe it was so apparent. But then again like i said... Shaikhah's always been observant.
But then again... Ansari noticed it too. He's a guy. He isnt supposed to be observant.
He said to me that last time, each time we were out, i was more outgoing. I talked more. And even when i was tired, i wld continue talking. Talking crap juz to keep myself awake. But nowadays... im quiet. When im tired, i'll juz keep quiet and fall asleep beside him. He checks up on me more now. Never fail to ask if ive eaten. And after i get back from work or an evening out wif frenz, he'll tell me to have an early nite.
Entah la. I myself duno. It's true. Now when i say im tired, it means im reali tired. So try not to talk to me too much or ask too many questions when im tired.
I guess things are different now. Last time, i wld have been able to layan. But now... i guess not. Dun wori. Im still the same crappy Azreen. I for sure can talk nonsense but it's juz that, i wun be able to keep up at it for too long.
I dun even have the energy to ask Ansari to call me up at nite despite noeing that he's still awake.
Ok now im starting to think im pathetic cos i actuali smsed Shaikhah at 4am to ask if Clifford Centre's Banquet sells Ban Mian. I distinctively rmbr eating it there but i juz wanted to be sure. If not the only other Banquet outlet that sells those reali nice Ban Mian is all the way at Jurong Point.
So after she replied, i straightaway smsed Ansari and told him i wana eat that. Hahaha. At 4 am i tell u!! I reali am pathetic. But hey if i wana eat smth, Ansari shld be the one accompanying me. If not i seriously wun eat. Dah la nowadays i makan sikit.
Sooooo later... i'll be meeting him at 645. He puase sooo we will go pray maghrib first at Raffles Place... thennn we go have dinner. After that, i juz wana head home. Nak sit by esplanade pun tak larat.
I need to keep my faith. I seriously need to do that. Dun wori... im not exactly troubled but it's juz that lots of things are on my mind. Things that get me thinking. It reali is tiring. Im juz scared that one day... i might get tired of everything and juz give up. So i need to keep my faith. On a lot of things...
